New Favorite Artist:

Sara barellis.... "love song"

enjoy!

Friendship Shout Outs

One of my favorite things about being home is being surronded by the people who know where you've come from. They know the trials you've faced, the joys you had, the high school you went to, your old cheerleading days and your love of theatre, that random mexican place that has the best food, the best sledding hill crystal lake has to offer, ect.... all of the things that have really caused me to be the person I am today.

It's good to have friends who can identify with your past and know where you're from.

And it's also good to have friends who can look ahead with you and know where you're going.

The best is when those two things collide.

Thanks Lauren, for being both of those in my life. I can't even imagine my pitiful days without you :)
And thanks Tricia, for being the one to look ahead and walk in the future with me. And also for being willing to take hold of my hand and let me walk you through my past. For taking the time to let me show you where I've come from.

My thoughts On Being Home

To be honest, being home is a little bit boring this time around. I love my family. spending time with them. all of the holiday traditions. random lunch dates with my cousins. and just hanging out. But I'm starting to get bored.

It may have something to do with the fact that my two closest friends are gone this holiday season. Off with family or on vacation. It's hard. not having them home to hang out with and release that young vibrant energy together. I'm even starting to have second thoughts on whether or not I want to come permanantly home over this next summer break. Don't tell anyone yet though, it's just a thought. not a reality.

Hopefully the boredom will pass. till then, i'll just continue to press on.

The Masonick Girls wish you and your family

a very very merry and blessed christmas!

May the new year be filled with joy and

hope and peace and lots of laughter!

Bless tonight. For our Savior is born.

Quote Journal

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."

-Helen Keller

I bought a journal yesterday and will officially title it my "quote journal." I think it would be something sweet to pass onto my girls or family one day, and also good for those days when life seems cloudy and gray. A heart felt quote always manages to produce thought and sunshine! Live on!

Red in the Midst of White

One of my well kept secrets;

After a busy, long, tiring, active, ect... day at work I like to stop at the grocery store and buy a carton of strawberries to savor on the ride home. I hold tight onto the stem and eat them straight out of the container. One. Two. Three. It adds a little extra sweetness to the day and brings a smile to my face.

On today's drive home, my favorite fruit added a little burst of red to the white snowy scape.

Christmas Cheer

The only control that is within our grasp each day is to make the decisions that lead us closer to the person that we want to be.

We can't control others. Their reactions. Their emotions towards us, or lack there of. Their actions.

We can only wake up every morning and announce, "today, I am going to focus on my heart, and make the choices that help me become the woman I want to be." and know that in the end, by taking the right steps that grow and develope our character, everything else and everyone else will slowly fall into place.

thats all we can do.

Notes From the Day

christmas tradition 3: baking christmas cookies. as flurries cascaded down from the sky all afternoon, my auntie, mom, and I could be found in the kitchen baking about7 batches of cookies. peanut butter blossums. cherrie winks. lemon drops. sugar cut outs. of course, the men could also be found in the kitchen every once in while stealing the warm cookies straight out of the oven. you know christmas is only a couple days away when smells of sugar ring the air, and mom brings out the candy cane antlers official designated as "christmas baking neccesities."

thankful moment: when my uncle jeff came in from outside with his big/warm coat and hat covered in snow and said "i shoveled off your car for you hid's..." so I never had a dad who cleared my car off for me when it snowed, but I have many uncles!

my thoughts: over christmas break I've simply been working very hard (well as hard as being a nanny for an adorable little girl is) and then arriving home to a cozy evening. all my friends are not home sweet IL yet, and so I've been spending a lot of time alone. but I'm realizing that I can do this single living thing. I enjoy cooking..dancing...and watching a movie without anyone else around or to talk to. not permanatly, but for now I'm happy!

The Christmas Bell

One year in high school, at the begining of the christmas season, my mom gave me a snow man bell to tie to my assignment notebook and said "everytime you hear this bell ring remember that life is more than just thinking about yourself. every chime you hear, think about someone else. how you can better serve them. who they are. what their story is."

and i think every one of us needs a bell to carry around. a bell to remind us to think beyond the too common words of "me, I, and my" that run through our head.

this christmas season my prayer and "lesson" I'm finding myself learning in life is to get beyond myself, my stories, and my achievements. and to focus on others.

when you hear the bells this christmas, think of this. the focus is not so much inward, but outward.

Grades posted today. The first semester of

straight A's in college.

PS. I know college is so much more then

letter grades. But it's still

okay to celebrate!

My Favorite Winter Things

1. Walking around the house in little white knit "bootie" slippers

2. When the sun shine reflects off of the white snow in the morning and blinds me

3. holding my frozen fingers right ontop of the car heating vents

4. pouring syrup into the water for the christmas tree

5. the smell of christmas trees in general

6. walking to the car and slipping/falling right on your butt (i know it sounds painful, but it's actually rather humerous)

7. how the ice freezes over on the pine trees, and how each seperate leaf looks like it is going to freeze and fall off

8. wearing big warm sweaters

9. bright red kissable cheeks (that just came in from the cold)

10. advent calendars

11. getting to dress every outfit up with a different colorful scarf... and wearing lots of different snow hats!

12. the smell of my christmas "cinnimon" and "mom's apple pie" yankee candels that fill the house

13. my mittens with a piece of yarn that attatches them together, so they hang from my coat and I'll never lose them *yes that set up is exactly like the mittens you see little kids wear!"

14. hearing christmas music and holiday carols everytime I turn on the car

15. drinking warm apple cider, and settling in by the fire at night

16. going sledding, making snow angel's, have snowball fights, and building snowmen with my cousins and friends

I think I wrote about the important of touch the other day. Yes, in my hugs entry.
Just a small moment today: Alexis wouldn't fall asleep and so I took her in my arms, sang a sweet lullaby to her, and spoiled her by letting her lay on my chest and fall asleep. We both ended up taking naps this afternoon, her right on top of me. And that simple "touch" connected us both. It was so soothing and yet so innocent. My special baby girl. One day, I will make a great mom.

Must See Film

Must see movie: August Rush
You have to see it to understand what I mean by "must see." One of the best films I have watched in a long time.

it was a good day. I decorated the christmas tree with my mom, drank warm apple cider, put up white christmas lights, went to my cousins Rock concert, and finished the night off by eating soup and watching Tuesday's with Morrie with my mom.

Today's Lesson: every one needs a teacher

We all need someone who is older then us to be a mentor in our lives. Someone to remind us of the frailty of life. To teach us about the important things that matter, and to invest time into our stories. A person who doesn't just give advice, but also listens. A mentor who uses their years gain on us to help guide our steps, and shed light. It's the only way to truely grow and learn. A mentor challenges you with ideas you haven't yet considered, and forces you to face challenges from a different perspective. They bring your level of thinking to a whole other level.

I've had a lot of these mentors in my life. Mom. Jo. Mr. Jensen. Krista. Oma. right now, thats what my heart tells me I'm missing the most. I miss having an older person to pour into me and guide me with wisdom and new ideas on life.

Every season has it's timing.

and I know eventually life is going to cause me to bump into another great teacher. I first had to establish my life in college, away from home, and with my peers. but it's coming. and until that meeting I wait with anticipation and thankfullness.

Snow Angel's, Welcome Home

Flying home today I saw my first glimpse of christmas.

We flew over fields covered in snow,

and in one white meadow, I saw small little snow angels scattered all over with foot prints. Little kids.

Welcome christmas. Welcome home.

It's good to have snow. and pine trees.

ps. we bought the apartment

Mentally Sorting Things Out in my Mind

Decisions. Surprisingly, I really hate decisions.
Right now I must decided whether to move out of my apartment and into University village next semester.

The background story: right now I live in a two bedroom, small cement apt. right on campus. Its me my best friend, and then two of our other friends. It's kinda ghetto, and yet it feels like home... i put a lot of effort into decorating it this semester and I'm safe here. Next semester, 2 of our roomates are moving out, so we'd have 2 new random roomates again. We applied to move 10 extra (walking) minutues away from campus into University Village (upperclassman campus housing), and got assigned to a four bedroom two bathroom apt. They are brand new, with marble countertops, carpet, a dishwasher ect. I'd have my own bedroom, and we'd still have 2 random roomates. I met one of the girls and she seems really nice, like we'd live well together. So now I must decided by 3 oclock today whether or not to sign the lease.

pros: my own bedroom, a dishwasher, a potentially nice new roomate, a washer and dryer, the ability to kinda move off campus but not really and get used to it, my own bathroom sink

cons: moving out and moving in all over again for only a semester, reworking my financial plan, its off campus, possibly losing the "home" feeling, have to find someone to lease it to during the summer or paying for it while I'm not living there, having to figure out moving out when my lease goes up in July

everyone else's opinion: if the machine isn't broken then why fix it? (aka if you are happy where you are right now, why move?)

tricia thinks: lets do it

heidi thinks: every little logical piece of me in my body says "don't do it." and yet my inner gut says "do it. take a chance"

in the end, i know I'll be happy either way. But how do you fight logic with that inmost gut feeling?

-hmm must decided by 3pm today

I'm learning a funny lesson in life right now. It's not trying or difficult, its just "hard" and slightly humerous. a good lesson to learn, and yet at times my heart is so against it. but i'm trying my best to get it right, to not cross those boundries, and am thankful that its this certain person helping me learn it.

maybe by the end of the year, i'll have it mastered.

and so as I lay down at bed tonight the same thought keeps running through my mind "look at me, i'm really growing up."

Morning Stillness and Loud Sunshine

Nothing like starting the day off than a quick 1.5 mile run with God. Good morning Wednesday! How are you feeling today?

ps. thank you for the 60 degree weather. it's beautiful

My List of Goals

This year I've slowly been realizing that in my head I do actually have a list of goals andthings I would like to accomplish with my life. Some of the things on the list are fun and random and others are a bit more meaningful. But I've decided to take time every once in a while and share some of the items. They're not in any paticular order, not listed from most important to least, just whatever's been on my mind lately.

So, number one on my list for life...

1. I would like to see all of the following broadway musicals whether in New York, Chicago, or another major city ... or maybe even a high school theatre :)

• The Color Purple
• Sweeny Todd
• My Fair Lady
• Thoughrely Modern Millie
• Phantom of the Opera (check)
• Wicked (check)
• Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat (check)
• RENT (check)
• West Side Story
• Chicago
• Titanic
• Jeckle and Hyde
• Narnia (check)
• Annie (check)
• The Little Princess (check)
• Hello Dolly (check)
• Aida (check)
• Big River
• Bye Bye Birde
• Cats
• Damn Yankees (check)
• Les Miserable (check)
• Seusical the Musical (check)
• Crazy For You (check)
• Miss Saigon
• Evita
• Fiddler on the Roof (check)
• Hair Spray
• Godspell (check)
• Guys and Dolls (check)
• Gypsy
• Into the Woods
• Jesus Christ Super Star (check)
• King and I (check)
• Lion King (check)
• Little Shop of Horrors
• Man of La Mancha (check)
• Music Man
• My Favorite Year
• Oliver (check)
• Once upon a Matress
• Producers
• RagTime
• Scarlet Pimpernel
• Scrooge (check)
• South Pacific
• You're a Good man Charlie Brown

There's something special about knowing that God used you to touch and change a persons life.

The bible study I lead is mostely made up of sophomore girls, and one freshman (Fabiana). Fab and I found eachother in a random way, her RA told her to contact a girl about getting a ride to church and that girl contacted me one week when she couldn't drive. Although i didn't know that upperclassman she had somehow heard of me, knew I served on leadership for BCM, and went to calvery chapell. I said sure to driving Fab to church that week not knowing who the freshman girl I'd be picking up in the morning would be. But after meeting Fab I invited her to join our bible study.

In reflecting on our praises for this week and for the semester all fabiana could say was that "this bible study was the best thing about my first semester. It was my favorite and warmest part of the week, and changed my entire semester. Seeing God work in your lives always encourages me to grow closer to the Lord and shows me I have a lot to learn. I'm so thankful for bible study. I just can't say it enough."

and everything else (all other concerns about exams, or boys, or random things) falls away. I am left with a full feeling in my heart that only christians can understand. That God looked down on me and trusted me to make a difference in Fabiana's life. That somehow I could lead her in an impacting way closer to God.

smiles abound.

Perfect Sunday "Summer" Afternoons

As you read the following entry, first click play on the below You Tube link. You don't have to watch the movie, just listen to the music and read.

I couldn't think of a more perfect way to spend my Sunday Afternoon than visiting a farmers fruit market in homestead. The sunny hours were spent taste testing homemade honey, eating star fruit and guava, and watching the chickens and animals as they popped all around their pens. We bought fresh pineapple, and a beautiful purple orchid. Ordered homemade milk shakes and sat on a picnic table bench, while an old man played my requested "piano man" by billy joel on his guitar and harmonic. Talked about how it was Dec. 2nd and we were wearing flip flops and feeling the bliss that comes only with summer.

It made me feel like a small hometown midwest girl again.

My Philosophy on Hugs

Hugging is a funny thing. As a member of the Masonick family, I hug a lot. We hug our family, our friends, anyone we are at least somewhat close with. We hug when we say hello. And we hug when we say goodbye. My mom always taught me the worthwhileness of hugs, what it really means to reach out and let another person know "i am here." The gift of touch and love all wrapped up in one.

There are good hugs and not so good hugs. The akward hugs when the person thinks they don't know you well enough, the half hugs from my teenage boy cousins who think it takes to much effort to really hold on tightly (which I then make them hug me again, for real this time I say), and the slightly distant hugs from people who never grew up hugging and enjoy their own personal space a little too much. But are these people missing out! Because a good strong hearted hug can change someones whole perspective around. Nothing beats a bad day then getting a full on embraced, tight squeeze hug from someone.

Certian people in my life who always give me the best warm hugs: my mom and my sister, Lauren, Kemy (whose hugs on a hard day surprisingly make me feel very loved and safe), my BCM friend Scotty, oma and opa, and cousin matty... to name a few

I would consider myself a pretty good hugger too :) I always like to give an extra squeeze and little smile! So if you're ever in need, whether the day be happy or sad, always know you can stop by and get a warm, friendly, joyful hug.

Hugs are a physical way of showing someone that they're loved, recognized, appreciated, and cared for.

Physiology exam and class official finished today... although some surprise questions about the acidity and ml volume of semen ejaculation (might I ask, was that really neccesary Dr. Deleon? must you find the most minute sentence in the text book and test us on it?)

in celebration of thursday, tricia and i went to have lunch at the breezeway. only in Miami would we have a live mariachee band playing outside for us to eat lunch by. Of course I had to get up and dance a little bit. dance and let out some of this pent up energy of a week filled with 6 tests, 2 essays, and 1 oral final.

self encouragment: you're almost done girl only two more to go!

Physiology Jokes

About to take my last physiology exam tomorow. After more then 3 hours of studying everynight for the past 2 weeks, I needed some humor to lighten up the mood. What better to do then ready physiology jokes the night before the exam?

• when you breathe you inspire, when you do not breathe you expire.
• why did the person fail the cadaver lab? - she just couldn't cut it
• Why is physiology so hard? -because the professor is really "sternum:
• Why is the spinal cord so audacious? -because it's got nerve
• why is the eye like the moon? -they're both in orbit
• What squaking gland of the digestive system does long john silver have on his shoulder? - the parot-id gland
• what did the physiologist do to his cars? -rectum
• if you see an organ flying over head what is it? -a gull bladder
• how do muscles go up and down? -in levators
• why is physiology so hard? -because its subject matter is so vastus
• why was the endocrine student so upset? -he failed a teste
• which arterties have gender? -the male and femoral arteries
• why are these jokes like a body if you don't put it in formaldehyde? -they both go rotten

like i always say "laughter is the soul's release!" sorry if some of you don't get them, its a tad bit nerdy and requires knowledge of the human body.

Nursing Banter

You always learn interesting things in physiology:

Dr. Deleon: Intelligence is passed through mitocondrial DNA, and only women pass on mitocondrial DNA to the offspring. Therefore, ladies don't worry. You can fall in love with a dumb guy and your kids will be fine and still be smart. Now boys on the other hand, I know you are always looking at the dumb cheerleader types and think they're so hot. but oh boy, will your kids be dumb. So guys only use your pick up lines on the smart hot girls!

:)

The End of the Year Theme

check out the new computer background!

Just went for a run, in 70 degree florida weather, and now am just dancing around the apartment to relient k's new christmas CD, "sleigh ride." so florida lacks the snow, and the wind chill... it doesn't stop the season. time to bring out the giant seal light up christmas lawn art, buy some decorations, and somehow fashion a christmas wreathe for the door! Thoughts from this past weekend, the song "it is well with my soul" continues to play in my head (and yes em, i realize i stole that from you! imitation is the best form of flattery)

Friday's Highlights

Friday's Highlights of Thanksgiving break include working (or playing) for an 8 hour day with my kids from back home.

Alexix is almost 3! The best part was entering into her bedroom to wake her up in the morning,

and hearing her say "HEIDI YOU CAME BACK! YOU CAME BACK

FOR CHRISTMAS!" and opening her arms wide open for a hug, followed by our

traditional singing of the good morning song and a dance around the room.

I love that we have the same color eyes.

Zach is her brother and has Autism. But him and I are always eager

to act out Toy Story or play fort. I was so proud to see

him potty trained and reading sight words. HUGE STEPS FOR HIM!

I braided Alexis's hair, and put two big red ribbion bows in before our trip

to the book store. Her delight "heidi, I want you to wear a

red ribbon too, so you look pretty as a princess." She smiled

so big when I finally put it on!

Sweet Home Chicago

The number one thing that I am grateful for; family. That I can wake up early in the morning and hop in the car and go straight over to my aunt marcia and uncle jeffs house for breakfast. That I get to be close to each one of my cousins in their own special way, I can squeeze them and hug them and kiss them as much as I want. It's pratically like having 10 brothers and sisters. That at 8am on saturday, I'll be christmas tree hunting with 3 of my cousins, uncle mark, and aunt chris. That on any given night I can say "my mom and I are headed over to my aunt and uncles house." That each holiday is more that just a day in which we drive a few hours to get together with everyone. We all see eachother so often anyways that holidays are even more special. Everyone dresses up, we have a big feast, and lots of laughs. With each holiday comes its traditions. Thanksgiving for example: uncle dee standing with an apron on and cutter in hand over the turkey while each grandchild stands in line waiting for a piece of the turkey skin, matty burning the buns every year, all 20 of us saying our prayer and oma always adding a few extra lines, going around the table and saying what we are thankful for in the year. Hearing every single member say "that our family is so close."

I come from a unique family. Kinda Crazy and Cooky at times, but completely loveable! It's a blessing that they all live within 20 minutues and that we are all so close. That my uncles look at me and my sister as their little girls. That I can curl up on the couch with my auntie and watch Grey's Anatomy. That I can spend lots of time at my oma and opa's house. As much as I try I just can't summerize the relationships and bonds of my family. Its actually one of the gifts I look most foreward to sharing with my future guy one day. The laughter, joy, and special memories that come along with being a member in such a big, warm, close family.

Below captures are just a little snapshot of our thanksgiving feast today. to set the story up, i have to do a photography project on feet for one of my college classes. Suddenly the whole family wanted to get involved! Uncle Mark and his creative feet...

First Snow! Winter Collage

three little women making homemade ginger bread houses

from scratch for Saturday!

Icouldn't resist the first snowfall of the year! So glad was I home to enjoy it!

not that savy snowman pj pants!

Lauren and I looking up times for iceskating.. tomorow we SLED!

Apple Kuchen German Pancakes. Early morning breakfast at Aunt Marcia and Uncle Jeffs house. A little cousin piano / guitar session. Afternoon shopping with the auntie, mom, and sister. Homemade soup.


sigh, these are what good days are made of.

Thankful List

My Thankful UMiami List:

1. My Safe House. That I'm comfortable enough to watch a movie with tricia and fall asleep on the couch (2 nights in a row). Knowing when I come home I can completely be myself, and enter a safe haven. Being able to sing and dance all over the place, and play piano too! Letting my guard down. The warmness of the apt (curtians, pictures, decorations and all)

2. Tricia (laughter, friendship, and random moments) : the zoo, Heidi turns "punk" dress up nights, sunday family home cooked dinners, celebrations of internships, its not enough having a sleep over sleeping in the same room "i want to sleep in your bed tricia!" RENT, lizard hunting, wine corks and the 2nd floor boys, trish stomping home soaked from the rain, pumpkin carving and gunky fingers, protecting our blankets from unwanted users....ect :)

3. Nursing school (SAC-the board that I now sit on for the nursing school with the dean, that mom approves of the education i'm recieving, that i'm still excited to be a nurse and know its my calling)

4. Heidi's 20th Birthday weekend (pumpkin carving, and GREAT memories with friends both at school and far away) you all made me feel SO LOVED, i'm grateful!

5. Fall Weather (that it finally gets cold enough to wear a sweater, and dance in the 60 degree breeze) + the everlastin Florida sunshine + the week in sepetember when it rained for 8 days straight

6. My classes, professors (Dr. Foote and Dr. Deleon, for giving me an amazing education), the good grades I'm recieving, and that my advisor finally knows me by name

7. My bible study girls (it's an honor and a blessing to be able to lead them, pour into them, and watch them grow)

8. Church (that i'm constantly growing and being challenged in my home church, and the few people that I see every week that are starting to know who I am, their small hellos mean a lot), and how refreshing worship is

9. Traditions: thursday night gray's anatomy, tues/thur afternoon lunches at the food court, monday night study, tues BCM

10. 2 little boys named Christian and Nicky that I nanny for: painting pumpkins, little kid soccer, dressing up and acting as the queen of narnia, being told that I am "a pretty princess" everyday and that when I grow up I should become a queen, making squishy things out of play doh, playing the "hot/cold" game, throwing sticks and rocks into the lake, and making random wishes

11. Best friend visits and crazy "let's cut 12 inches of hair off" saturdays

12. My new venting mechanism, running. And that I was able to make my 3.5 mile run around campus before the end of the semester!

13. Alone time by the lake. and seeing the crocodile "jeffery" about 7 times this semester!

Half Full or Half Empty

The other day while I was nannying, the dad asked Christian how his day was at school. Christian started complaining and so the dad brought the little boy over to the sink and began explaining the old "half full or half empty" principle. It was cute. In the end, no matter how many times we've heard that saying, its still true. We can look at all the good things in our lives and say its half full, or we can look at all the things we are missing in our lives and say half empty.

I want to be a half full kind of girl.

Although, when the nerd in me starts coming out I might also pull one of these :)

Sweater Weather and Stripey Socks

Dear Self,

Next year when you start getting jealous in August and Sepetember that the weather is changing to fall in all your favorite places and you're not there, remember this: that now come November it's finally your turn to whip out your sweaters and socks! To many people's dismay, Florida does have a fall (its just a couple months late). And you get to play and spin in the cool breeze and the 60 degree days for the next couple months. Fall is coming! And to top that, the fall stays for the majority of the year (lucky duck). So don't lose hope. Those stripey socks will get some fresh air soon enough.

Much love for sweater weather,
Heidianne

there are so many things to celebrate!

• The 101% on my statistics exam
• The 100% (WOW) on my phsiology exam (esp. when the class average was an 80)
• the fact that I won the battle with the nursing school and am now able to take my only "final/exam3" early and fly back home on Dec. 6
• the 99% on my german exam
• Todays meeting with the executive school of nursing board that I sit on. It's an honor, and a priveledge. I get to leave an impact!
• that the dean of the school of nursing said that I was one of the top students in the whole graduating class of my year. or even for the fact that both deans know me by name and who I am.
• that i have a best friend to fight and laugh and spend 2 hours cleaning the entire house together with
• and, the best one for last, that I get to fly home in 4 DAYS!!!!

Learning so much. Growing so much more. But tonight, we're gonna focus on the victories and enjoy the eve. watching grays anatomy and curling up in my CHICAGO blanket.

The Lasted Addition to apt.34

I decided to spoil myself this week with the purchase

of a brand new keyboard.

You can just call me Mozart in training ;)

It's important to do things for yourself,

and taking piano lessons has always been one

of my dreams.

Theres yet another thing fufilled this year!

A little Birdy

Leaving piano this morning, a chill ran up my back. The ever cold AC buildings at Miami often leave my body temperature a little lower then normal. So, as I headed out to the library to get some work done before German, I spotted a picnic table and some benches down by the lake, sitting right in the middle of the sun. It looked so warm. With the extra time that I had I ventured down, plopped on a bench, and stretched myself out to soak up the sun.

I felt like one of the Ibis birds on campus. Reaching its neck up as high as it can go almost trying to touch the sun and allow the warmth to encapsulate it. Letting my soul rest and rejuvenated for a few minutes.

It made me think of how at different times during the day we need to give ourselves that space. That space to let our minds wander and focus on God. That space to take a breathe from the rush, and silence ourselves.

Thats one checked off the list

I did it tonight! That goal of running the entire campus loop of about 3.5 miles. I did it.

I wasn't planning on it. I didn't go out for my weekly run expecting to push myself to the limits and let it all go.

But about half way through that second mile, a voice inside of me said just push it. I felt an unresistable urge come on fufill that wild ambition of mine.

Leap for joy.
exhilaration. release. she did it!

accomplishment.

My Secret Friend

Every Tuesday, and thursday my path crosses with a young grad student on way to my 8am classes. While I am walking towards the south side of campus near the nursing school, she heads north on the brick path by the lake to the architecture building.

I started smiling at her when we first walked by eachother because she resembled one of my old biology TA's, only to realize a week later that while the both women looked the same they were not actually the same. But the smiling and hellos continued. Every tuesday and thursday, almost like clock work, we pass and exchange smiles and greetings under the early morning sunrise.

And while I don't know her name, I don't know where she's from, what her story is... I do know that she is an architecture student and I would consider us close friends. For a time never fails that when we see eachother the day becomes a little brighter with a smile from a stranger.

I'll miss seeing her next semester. But for now, I'm thankful for my secret friend. So much can be learned and felt without even the exchange or words.

My name... analyzed

While studying for german ran across this random program on the internet that "supposedly" analyzes your name, simply by having you type it in.... of course i couldn't resist

Helpful
Enchanting
Independent
Difficult
Influential

hmmmm, gotta break up the study sessions somehow!

You must not expect to live in a world where all is harmony.
It is your task to maintain your own heart peace in adverse circumstances by relying on me.

- God

We all want someone to listen to our days, care about our ups and downs of the past couple hours, lend helpful advice, and encourage us by simply telling us "hey, i'm thinking about you, and you are important enough for me to stop what I'm doing and hear whatever you feel like talking about. thats how much I care." We all want to be able to call someone after a tough exam, or to be able to share an exciting/ laughable moment of the day with.

and thinking about this all on my way to class today God just kinda nudged me and said, heidi... you don't need another person to call, i can take care of that desire right here for you. i want to be that person. okay then God, but I might be calling a lot ;)

He Was There

The last time I saw him he was passed out on the couch after a night out of drinking on the one evening I came to visit at the end of college last year. The last time I talked to him, before this, he was spiraling downward in a negative way.

and yesterday he happened to call at the exact moment my heart was hurting and my eyes were full of tears. He was there. For the first time in many years, he was there for me in a way that went beyond finacial abilities and functional resources. he listened to me cry, almost as if in some ways i was the little girl again able to run back into her daddy's arms. he let me cry out all of my tears, and then he said he loved me. and that it'd be okay. and he offered help and advice in the only way he could. while offering to help my find a psycologist wasn't exactly the right answer, it was sweet in its own way because it showed me that he cared and he wanted to do anything in his power to ease my heart. it made me laugh and endeared my heart. not a normal father and daughter interaction, but a precious moment. in that second my dad wanted to protect me from the heart ache and do anything in his power to stop it. he was my dad. and he was there. it was even sweeter then when he called my sister after we got off the phone and told her she should call me and make sure that i was okay. again, not typical, but endearing, he loves me so much he reached beyond the ways he could comfort me, and reigned in my family. in the end his motive was pure, he wanted/needed to make sure i'd be okay.

then he called tonight. he called to make sure i was doing better and to remind me that he loved me and was there for me. he called to make sure my sister talked to me. he told me that fear is really false evidence appearing real and that we put way to high expectations on ourselves. he told me that i was an exceptional girl, and was doing so well. he didn't have to write it out this time, in one of the only ways hes ever been able to express himself to me, he was able to tell me.

he was there.

Today's Currentlys

Currently reviewing: Sarah Groves new CD; track- song for my sons

"This is a song for my sons for when they understand it,
You know how life is full you know we couldn't plan it
your dad and I prayed for strength and understanding for things we couldn't see or comprehend This is a song for you, to carry in your pocket
take all our love with you in all the paths you walk in
I can't say your life will always go like it should but I can say that God is always good

and when the cold wind blows like I know it will
and when you feel alone like I know you will
Don't let your love grow cold

This is a song from my heart a small refrain to hold you
for times when we're apart and I cannot console you
Be honest with yourself and don't forget to pray and read your bible everyday"

I don't know why, but it kinda speaks to my heart.

Currently thinking about purchasing: a keyboard to practice my new piano skills on

Alone in My Own Little World

"I was a little girl, alone in my little world, who dreamed of a little home

for me. I played pretend between the trees, and fed by houseguests sparkly's, and

laughed in the pretty bed of green. I had a dream that I could fly from

the highest SWING, I had a dream."

Some Advice from an Oma

The family was in town to visit this past week and through that I was able to snatch some great advice from my dear oma

while climbing over a sign in the middle of a walking pathway that says "do not enter"
"not all of man's rules in life are neccesarily correct and need to be followed. It's okay to break some rules and bend the corner every once in a while."

when my cousin matty called to wish me a happy birthday
"i love to see how our family is a bunch of golden threads. Me and opa worked so hard for so many years to weave all these golden threads together, and now they stand on their own."

and who can leave out opa's advice
"no men until you are 30 Heidi. You get your PhD first before you can get a man." haha, opa wants all of his women to get their PhD's!

Some Changes

Nothing changes ones perspective more then a new haircut!

12 inches gone and donated to locks for love.

According to my oma and opa, it's a very "smart" older "20 something" do!

Have a birthday, turn 20, times are changing!

Comparison

My conclusion for the day is that everyone just likes to pretend that they have it together. That they are old and wise and living an extraordinary life that is way much better than yours. : ) but the truth of the matter is that they really don't have it that much more together then you do. so don't ever feel young, immature, disadvantaged, or ect. in comparison to others.

in the end we're all just trying to figure it out! and no one really has it more figured out than anyone else. no one's life is really better than yours. whew! what a relief!

so, now that we've gotten beyond comparing ourselves to others.... let's begin living our own best lives.

Embrace YOUR day!

I remembered one of the other simple little things in life that make me happy today:

The smell and look of freshly vaccumed carpet!

Daily Thought

"We've all started to believe whatever our parents of friends have told us about what we can achieve and who we can be in life, and we've forgotten about that possiblity we had when we were younger. And that's what I think we all have in common- possibility. We could all use a daily reminder that, if you believe in yourself, even when the odds seem stacked against you, anything is possible."

-Joey, Dawsons Creek

Today's Weather Forcast

Today84° 77°

Perfect day to bring out the books, put some classical music on, and snuggle down inside. i love cloudy forcasted days!

there is a three mile campus loop that runs around the entire university. in my former days of a varsity rower : ) we used to have to run that once a week. running isn't my thing. my body feels uncomfortable and my my lungs heave as i get myself in motion. my mind doesn't know where to focus and i am out of place. but somehow half way into the run i begin to find my form, my inner ryhthm, and i break loose. i shred every once of bad feeling on the pavement and awaken myself again.

my goal for this year is to be able to run that three miles again. i've started off slow, and as each week goes by i try to push farther and longer. today, i managed to break the boundry. although i didn't run to the whole thing, i was able to push it 2 miles and instead of turning home, walk for about 4 minutes, run, walk, run the rest of the loop. it isn't my goal, but its getting there.

she did 2. one more to go!

Every once in a while a girl deserves to send herself flowers!

(even if it is just online)

Heres to cheerful warm lilies and roses to brighten the day!

Word of the Day

Today's newly invented word for the day: equilibriates

as in, at a high altitude the barometric pressure of oxygen (02) decreases, the pressure of o2 decreases, causing the pressure gradient to decrease, and o2 equilibriates much farther down

: ) equilibriates! use it!

I know a lot of my posts have been very reflective on life lately and about my journey, but you're just going to have to understand that thats where I am right now. This year, according to my human growth and development class, I officially entered the transition period between "identity vs. identity confusion" and "intimacy vs. isolation" or in Havighursts theory "adolescence" vs. "early adult hood." Basically, I'm growing up. I'm becoming pretty concrete in my identity (vs. the confusing mess that is high school) and starting to enter the joys of "adult hood." But with that transition comes reflection. A TON of reflection. of whats important to me in life. what my goals for the future are. am I living the life i've imagined. how did I get here. am I making choices that actively make me happy. why am i choosing what i am choosing in life.

Yet, in the midst of all this I'm finally starting to feel sound in where I'm at. I'm finally starting to establish my own home life in Florida. to make my own traditions (sunday night home cooked dinners by tricia and heidi, grays anatomy thursday night roomie dates). to develope my own sense of family and "belonging" outside of crystal lake. to learn how to study, and work, and play. to find joy at staying home on the weekends and watching movies and eating ice cream (even if some nights its by myself). this year I am mostly learning that I don't have to completely forget all of the things i love at home just because I'm at school. I'm starting to blend the worlds. I have children that I nanny for, families that I'm around, and I'm starting to ground myself in my church. I'm actively creating the life I want to live.

And while it's not easy at times to live on my own, and be away from my family and friends, I can do this. I can grow up. I am growing up. In the end I know I will look back on the years and see all the gifts I recieved because I decided to take some time and live on my own (realizing how important family is and how much i want to live near them in the future, being grateful for the amazing friends that I have and understanding the true time it takes to build long lasting friendships, never again complaining about the winter or living up north, and much more that I'm sure I'll slowly grasp as these last two and a half years of college breeze by). God is constantly finding me everyday, and helping me do all this.

So here I am.

"She's only 19. A young woman to the world but still a little girl at heart. She's stuck in the middle, trying to act her age and have fun at the same time. She's trying to achieve her goals but not get too stressed. She's trying to fall in love while trying to be independent at the same time. Learning to fly out into the world on her own while deep down inside she just wants her daddy's arms wrapped around her. She's trying to smile through it all, even through the pain. She's seen her friends and family get hurt and she's even seen some of them die but she keeps her faith in God. She can't wait to grow up but, in a way, she's already there. She's only 19; so young, but not."

Quote for the Day

"If you're not actively involved in getting what you want, you don't really want it."
- Peter McWilliams

more thoughts to come, check back later

I Need to Practice my German

Oh, das tut mir lied aber I need to practice my deutsche.

Ich studiere um Universitat in Miami. Ich bin Amerikaner studentin. Ubrigens, Ich habe die klasse deutsche oft. Ich habe die klasse piano selten. Du hast die klasse piano auch? Dann, ich gehe Statistics. Ich habe statistics zemlich oft. Statistics ist hasslich und schlecht. Das wetter in Miami ist sehr sehr schon, oder wunderschon. Typisch, es ist heisse und es regnet und es ist sonnig immer. Nie es schneit. Miami hat viel touristen und touristinnen. Der touristen sind freundlich und immer hoflich miteinander. Ich spiele mit kinder am der tag, nicht der nacht. Ich gehe da night das kinder kommen heir. Ich spiele mit das kinder draussen.

Entershuldigung, i have to run! ubrigens, abeite im moment, und ich in eile!

Gute abend!

You Get What you Ask For

"Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves.

When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safley because we have sailed too close to shore, Disturb us, Lord."

- Sir Francis Drake -

Rock it Out

Nothing makes a good day then finally getting to the gym, and then continue to come home and rock it out to the "pop teen artist" Hannah Montana.

"Sometimes I'm in a jam, I've gotta make a plan. It might be crazy, I do it anyway. No way to know for sure, I'll figure out a cure. I'm patching up the holes. And then it overflows. If I'm not doing to well, why be so hard on myself. Nobody's perfect, I've gotta work it, again and again till I get it right. Nobody's perfect, you live and you learn it. And if I mess it up sometimes, nobody's perfect."

Sometimes a girls just gotta have fun!

I couldn't think of a better way to welcome the dawn then a trip to the music practice rooms and teaching myself how to play Amazing Grace on the piano.

Although, I had to throw a little "oh when the saints go marching in" in there too for some little extra spunk : )

Thursday Jokes: to keep you going

Right about now school starts to set in full force! So we need a laugh every once in while.

This Education

the new knowledge recently added since starting sophomore year:

• guten morgan! wie geht es dire? Serh gut, danke. Ich heisse Heidi. Wohnt komme aus Chicago. Wo wohne in Miami jetzi. Ich habe im Oktober Gebutstag. Ich bin fit, intelligent, und ich bin guter launde. tshusse!
• how to develope film in a dark room
• enough piano skills to play "Give my Regards to Broadway
• human growth and development taught me that I come from a "dysfuntional family," but then again who doesn't : ).... also Healthy People 2010 (USA initiviate for health)
• how to properly constract a frequency distribution and calculate z scores
• and most importantly: when when a person gets very very very scared they sometimes have the possiblity of peeing in their pants (you see it all has to do with the auntomic sympathetic part of the nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for the "fight or flight" reaction and sets the body into motion. When that happens the bladder muscles relax and the sphincer holds. However, when the frightening situation is over the parasympthetic nervous system kicks and and that causes the bladder muscles to contract, therefore the emptying of the bladder. One might also note that Inow am aware of the receptors located in our nervous system synpases.

Just thought I'd give you some morning education!

Welcome To College

Story of the Day:

Having danielle taking a shower and run out of the bathroom while screaming bloody murder, "THERES A COCKROACH IN THE SHOWER." Me, pretending to be strong, said let me come kill it. But then I saw the thing and began screaming too. Instead of killing it myself I ran up to the boys apartment living up stairs, knocked very hard on the door, and said "we have a cock roach in the bathroom." He gave me a sad look, shook his head, and came and killed the bug for us.

thank goodness it's not a girls only building : )

welcome to miami!

Room of Life

On the outside, a room seems like a very simple thing. Four walls. Some windows. Maybe a few cabinets. Not that much going on.

But, on the inside I think a room reveals a lot about a person. The colors, decorations, style are all little well kept secrets that in the end speak together to mysteriously uncover the heart of a person. Take my new dorm room for instance. Come enter with me and glance around....

two princess crowns
a picture of my mom and my sister by my desk
a life is a good sticker hanging up on the wall
green curtians with pink bed sheets
a little miss sunshine book
a tiny cherish bear joyfully sitting right next to my computer
a cross and candel side by side
froggy slippers
a new mexico wind chime
skwirt gun
God's will Box
an angel ornament
and the list could go on and on

alone these things don't mean that much. but together they offer a tiny glance into what makes me tick. each item has a special meaning and a special purpose. if you really want to get to know a person don't ask them the random questions. instead take time to sit in their room and ask them what each paticular item means. more will be unconvered than any conversation could.

Where I'm At

At school.
emotional drained.
huge transition period.

BUT as I was looking for words of encouragment yesterday I fell upon a conversation with my opa (grandfather). He told me that when he was my age he was leaving all of his family in germany and heading over to America not knowing anybody besides Oma.

And then I thought to myself.... if Opa could do that, I can do this!

Moment of the Week

Saying goodbye to my little girl 2.5 year old Alexis (whom I have nannyed for all summer and now owns a small piece of my heart) As I was laying her down to bed she began bawling and saying...


"Heidi don't leave me. I love you. Don't go back to school."

How in the world are you supposed to responde to that love and those words?
we are quite the couple!

Give and Take Away

God has taught me that during times in life there is always the concept of give and take away. He provides us with blessings but sometimes he asks us to give up those blessings for a short while in order to have a greater blessing in the end. It works the opposite way too, God allows hardships to happen but then thankfully he comes down and rescues us and takes them away. And for now I'm trying to learn how to hold onto some things with a loose grasp and trust Him. For whether God is giving or taking away, His plan is best, and so I choose to remain and follow Him.

I've also learned this summer that life isn't neccesarily about what blessings or hardships I have or am going through at the time. But more about finding joy in each day. The phrase "joy in the journey" stands out to me. No more anxiety about tomorow, or regret about yesterday. Each day is filled with simple pleasures that we must take advantage of now. I don't think that most people lead there lives with a full understanding of this topic. They are quick to begin thinking about anything other than where they are right now. So when I become overwhelmed and am taking out of the moment in which I am living, I simply slow down, take a deep breathe and say to myself, "here I am sitting right now in the kitchen. The rest of the house is asleep, but I get to enjoy the quietness of the morning. The cool morning air in the house brisks my cheeks and wakes me up. The sun is beaming outside and the sky is blue. I am happy and grateful to have woken up with the dawn today. I am happy to be within the warmth of my house. I am glad to be right here right now."

And now let us close in the words of Mother Teresa.

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."

If I were to write a letter to my former self at the begining of freshman year of college knowing what I know now:

Dearest Heidi Anne,

Congrats on getting accepted into college and choosing a school! You are about to embark on a grand adventure. I know this past year has been difficult for you but you remained so strong and have been seeing everything through to the end. I am proud. Just a few words of advice as you begin this brand new journey:

1. be confident in who you are. don't try to hide the special random pieces about you that make you, you. eventually you will find friends to embrace those and play with those, and don't settle for anything less. but sure of yourself. in college many other people will seem like they have it all together; but they really don't. they will seem like they have many strenghts and know exactly where they are going; but life happens to everyone, they are still struggling and may actually be worse off then you. embrace them for their strenghts but at the same time remember that if you begin to doubt yourself they are probably just bluffing everything, so don't take any of it to heart. you know your gifts and your talents. don't ever doubt your self for one second. you are an amazing woman and an amazing friend!

2. you don't need to make a hundred friends right away. continue to meet new people and make aquaitiances at your own pace, but be slow to truely give someone the title of friend. let me show themselves to be worth while, steadfast, and the kind of people that you want to surrond you in life. people who love you for you and love to play with you. you don't need lots of friends. wait until the really really good ones come around. don't put yourself in a box of who you hang out with, but proporitionate your time wisely so you get to spend little amounts of time with lots of people.

3. you're mom is going to be okay on her own. i promise!

4. your major will come to you. don't for one second spend hours of energy being anxious about it. i promise. it will find you in a mysterious way and you will love it! so don't worry about it and about your "college track plan." everything is going to be okay in that general area.

5. roomates are crazy. buy nikita a new alarm clock as a hello new roomate gift. set up your boundries with these girls, clean your stuff, and give them there space. don't ask them for advice. respect them but stand up for yourself!

6. always remember that you are loved.

7. be confident in your study habits. you will get great grades! don't doubt your intelligence one bit. don't ever let a single person make a comment that puts you down.

8. don't worry about your finances. you'll make it through the year living a comfortable lifestyle, fun vacations, and still have money left over.

9. find joy, take time for yourself, walk around campus with your ipod, walk around in near by neighborhoods, find a quiet space, go to the beach more often, workout at the health club. do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself and create your own space. there is joy in the journey of each and every day. make time and pamper yourself once in a while.

10. don't walk into college thinking that this is "going to be the promise land" or the time of your life. just because you are away from home and have a chance to start things completley over again doesn't mean that all of life's problems magically dissapear. Try new things and be open, sure! But at the same time, guard your heart a little more and be aware that no perfect promise land exists. prepare yourself for battles!

you'll do great and come out so much more mature!
love you!

Today I feel like:

That's what spending the entire day (8am-midnight, wake up time to nighty night time) can do to a person. Salute to all the mother's out there. All I know is that as a nineteen year old girl, an entire day of being a mom makes you feel exhausted and very bossy!

we all have a choice.

live for today!

The Fine Art of Shrinky Dinks

When my girlfriends and I were in middle school and High school the three of us always went to our favorite Camp Timber-lee for one week during the summer. Outside of the massive adventures on the lakeslide blog, having mud fights, skipping stones, dancing around to the worship band, making leather bracelets, and enjoying our "time away from home" ... we had one other favorite past time. Making shrink a dinks. These were little pieces of plastic that you could color and cut and make designs on and then stick in an oven and they would shrink to the size of a small key chain. Every summer we made loads of shrink a dinks and then used my periodically throughout the year.

This year one of my good friends is a camp counselor there and so i went to visit her and purchased some of the plastic for our memorable shrink a dinks. I colored them at home and then attempted to follow her instructions on how to shrink them. Unfortunatly all four of them ended up with huge bubbles right in the middle. Clearly shrink a dinks is a fine art that I as of now lack. But I will not give up! I am convinced to master the shrink a dinks and create a wonderful keychain. So tomorow, I will go to the crafts store and invest in some shrinkable plastic : )

isn't it funny how simple little cheap plastic could require such a fine skill, or that I am so persistent in this shrink a dinks creation that i will actually go to the hobby store. Sometimes I just laugh at myself. It's not that I'm a perfectionist. It's that I was looking foreward to carrying a shrink a dink around with me the entire year!

Summer Update

SUMMER!

I love just hanging out with my friends. (literally)!

Where will I end up next year? Where will next year take me?

- back to Miami?

- transfering??

I can't wait to find out!

sometimes you just have to ask the question.

Good Attempts

Some days I find it rather difficult to get up and get moving :) As in the morning you always say after work I'll hit up the gym, seeing as how my working job requires minimal activity. But then after work you are so exhausted you can't get up the energy to go. Today I was planning on heading to the gym, but alas I forgot my gym shoes. So then I decided to get home and bike ride to my best friends house. Actually made it all the way to taking out my bike, finding the pump compressor, washing the bike, pumping up the first tire, and then the bike pump fuse broke! So alas, no exercise for Heidi today!

Oh well it was a good attempt :) tomorow- remember the gym shoes!

My Personality DNA

You are a Dynamic Inventor.

My personalDNA Report

to those who know me well often know that I always have a random comment for the day hidden up my sleeve some where : )

How I'm Feeling These Days

Nail polish. Some think a simple shade to color a young girls fingers and toes with. I think a way to describe one's mood and general ambiance.



Today I'm Feeling:

chick flick cherry

these summer days are filled with the simple joys of just hanging out with the girl friends! sometimes it's nice to just sit back, put your feet up, and say "ahhh" with my gals without having any type of male distractions in life.

you may notice a little change in colors.

i decided to liven it up a bit today for summer!

Life is good! And that's great!

I've come to beleive that there are some seasons of our lives that are full of change. These past two years have been one of those seasons for me. Change in family, change in addresses, change in friends, change in ambitions, change in motivations, change in direction, change in climate, and even change in car : ) . Yet, some things have remained steady... mainly God and my life values.

What's so funny though is that as we go through heavy seasons of change we don't know what to do with ourselves when the heavy gusts slow down. This summer has been great, relaxing, joyful, slightly humerous, and full of grand adventures. But at times I find myself feeling slightly "uncomfortable" because nothing heavy duty is taking place. There is no one momentous change occuring right now in my life to focus my energy on working out. I'm so used to CHANGE that I have particially forgotten how to JUST JOYFULLY BE and relax. It's quite the oxymoron, when life is full of challenges and changes we just want it to be normal and easy. And when life finally gets easy and relaxing we wonder if we are doing things right because aren't they supposed to be harder then this.

But I say no! I will enjoy this new season when everything falls into place! I will soak up every stage of life. Hello sun! Life is good! And that's great!

once in a while, we all need a little inspiration.

i must be on a driving craze latley, but here is a quick note i wrote to my sister. it describes us and our lives... perfectly!

the road that we are on has many trials and challaneges. we are different then the average driver. where the average driver only ventures out on the streets of their town and other roads well known, we (as the masonick sisters) drive off into the sunset on roads yet to be discovered. the highways we cruise down are unknown. and sure they are scary. we are never quite sure where the next exit is going to be and who we will meet there. and there is always the frightening chance of running out of gas. but heres the difference. while the average driver only sees the same landscape every day, we get to see new and better horizons. we get the chance to explore different places and to taste life to the utmost. sure the average driver doesn't go through as many challenges as we do, for they know where each road takes them and the near by pitt stops, but in the end our journeys are far more exciting and worth while. best of all, we get to travel them together.

Going Buggy

Never be afraid to dream. And dream big.

I am a big fan of delayed gratification, and so I have started dreaming (about four years in advance) about the first nice car I will purchase. This way I can savor it and enjoy it and look foreward to it even though I don't have it. And then imagine how much more fun it will be in a few years when I am finally able to buy it and drive it.

Heidi's dream car. A salsa red vw convertible beetle.

ain't she glam!

LiVe wiTH paSSion!

Often times there are big events in our life that we wait or plan for. They can be small and simple like a day off of work, or they can be big like leaving for a vacation, going back to school, or having a close friend come visit. We tell ourselves as long as I can make it until then it'll be okay, or we simply plan on those days being full of fun and adventures.

But my question for today is: what about all the other days in between?

It's not enough for me to want these next three days to fly by so that I can have thursday off. Or to want this month to fly by so I can see my close friends again. I'm not content simply waiting for the "next big event."

I want everyday to be filled with excitement, passion, energy, and to be meaningful. I want to find purpose in everyday. To not think about the days ahead and say "if I can just make it until then." But instead to say "what an amazing day today is." The difficulty in this comes from the mundaness of the average work day. We fail to realize the impact we have in people's lives or to find the small excitement and purposes that fill every hour of every minute. We forget to be in love with the day because we are so used to the routine. What used to be energizing and different is now just average.

Not anymore. Awaken my soul!

I'm living with passion!

No Wonder I am the Way I am

Being nerdy this morning and researching some statisics about my good home town of Crystal Lake.

Check out the graph under "race" on the following website.
http://www.idcide.com/citydata/il/crystal-lake.htm

No wonder Miami's diversity was so hard for me to get used too! It suddenly all makes sense now.

Fueling the Race

Recently, I read an interesting article from Time Magazine about the Senate's new approaches to the ever increasing fuel dilenma. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1636445,00.html

The article discuesses how the Senate hopes to increase the use of ethanol fuel, support the research of hybrid cars, change the fuel economy 35 miles per gallon, and decrease the total oil consumption of the United States.

My one question: what is taking so long? With the prices of gas on an ever increasing escpade ranging anywhere from 3.07 a gallon to 3.59 a gallon, American drivers need help and they need it fast. I am often astonished that although we know the oil is running out, there is no more pressure being placed on inventors to develope alternative sources of transportation and fuel. While I am certianly not highly educated on the matter I still am slightly worried about it. All this as the amount of money set aside for gas each week in my acount continues to rise higher and higher.

As long as your secure...

: ) the best way to start out mondays is with a little laughter

points to consider

I've once heard that great movie/story writers start out by identifying the climax of the film. From there they write the rest of the events that happen before the climax.

God sets our lives up in the same manner. You see, I already know what I want the climax of my life to be. When I get up in heaven for God to say,


"well done my good and faithful servant."

Mommy, do princesses wear hiking boots?
When they wish to see scenic roots.

Do princesses climb trees?
Is there a better way to catch the breeze?

Do princesses like to walk in the rain?
They dance through puddles without refrain!

Do princesses like to play in the sand and dirt?
If they're wearing jeans and a messy old shirt.

Do princesses eat the crusts off bread?
They save them for the ducks instead!

Do princesses drink sparkling punch?
They prefer lemonade with lunch!

When princesses laugh, do they sometimes snort?
They do silly things of every sort.

While working I came across this little book and couldn't help but think that it described the princess in me pretty well! Not your ordinary princess. She lives life on the wild side.

Humming Tunes

India.Aire has taken up much of the listening space in my life lately.

This songs sings to everyone's soul:

"back when I had a littleI thought that I needed a lot. a little was overratedbut a lot was a little too complicated see, zero didn't satisfy mea million didn't make me happythat's when I learned the lesson that it's all about your perceptionhey, are you a copper or a superstar. so you act, so you feel, so you are. it ain't about the size of your carit's about the size of the faith in your heart.

my favorite part --> there's hope. it doesn't cost a thing to smile. You don't have to pay to laugh. You better thank God for that."

"laughter is the soul's release."

always fill your days with hope, smiles, and laughter!

STRIVE

- check it out!

- she's in the news!

http://www6.miami.edu/miami-magazine/featurestory1.html

TGIF

It's pay day and Friday! Could life get anybetter : ) I think not.

My mom shared some advice and wisdom this evening that I think will be important to remember as I continue along this life journey of nursing.

"when you become a nurse you have to know, that you will lose your innocence. Seeing hurt and evil like that really drains a person. You can't remain childlike and innocent because you see the brutality and life of it all. That is why a lot of nurses burn out so soon. Instead you must realize the fragility of life, but choose to actively block out the evilness of people. Love the person you are caring for and make a heart connection. Allow their light to shine and know that no matter what you are doing the best you can do. Whether they die or life. In the end the love can overpower the evil."

The Cicadas are Coming!

Today's buggy facts:

The recent buzz around the midwest is upcoming cicada emergence after around 17 years of lying dormant in the ground. These bugs are generally a couple inches in length and only appear around every fifteen years.

Local newspapers report, "The red-eyed, shrimp-sized, flying insects don't bite or sting. But they are known for mating calls that produce a din that can overpower ringing telephones, lawn mowers and power tools."

But what exactly will the billions of cicadas in the Midwest be like? Only time can tell!

Today's Forecast

1. a daily psalm

2. pink, white, and purple little girl's hairbows

3. grill cheese sandwiches

4. finger painting

5. a visit to the park

My first day back at work. Nannying simply has to be the best job ever. I love my summer days.

Tomorow's forcast

possibilty of chalk, with a side of mac and cheese later in the afternoon. The day finishing up with a 90% chance of having a pool party with blow up floaties.

Summers Theme

After a year of growing, learning, playing, stressing, worrying, studying, laughing, crying, rejoicing, and personal stretching... I am about ready to define a new theme for summer.
No more anxiety. No more big decisions. No more "city life." But simply chilling for the summer and enjoying being a midwest girl. No more sudden life changes. No more confusion and heart throb. But simply great memories with good family and friends.

I think we all need moments in life where we can sit back, lick up the ice cream dripping down the cone, and chill!