Welcome To College

Story of the Day:

Having danielle taking a shower and run out of the bathroom while screaming bloody murder, "THERES A COCKROACH IN THE SHOWER." Me, pretending to be strong, said let me come kill it. But then I saw the thing and began screaming too. Instead of killing it myself I ran up to the boys apartment living up stairs, knocked very hard on the door, and said "we have a cock roach in the bathroom." He gave me a sad look, shook his head, and came and killed the bug for us.

thank goodness it's not a girls only building : )

welcome to miami!

Room of Life

On the outside, a room seems like a very simple thing. Four walls. Some windows. Maybe a few cabinets. Not that much going on.

But, on the inside I think a room reveals a lot about a person. The colors, decorations, style are all little well kept secrets that in the end speak together to mysteriously uncover the heart of a person. Take my new dorm room for instance. Come enter with me and glance around....

two princess crowns
a picture of my mom and my sister by my desk
a life is a good sticker hanging up on the wall
green curtians with pink bed sheets
a little miss sunshine book
a tiny cherish bear joyfully sitting right next to my computer
a cross and candel side by side
froggy slippers
a new mexico wind chime
skwirt gun
God's will Box
an angel ornament
and the list could go on and on

alone these things don't mean that much. but together they offer a tiny glance into what makes me tick. each item has a special meaning and a special purpose. if you really want to get to know a person don't ask them the random questions. instead take time to sit in their room and ask them what each paticular item means. more will be unconvered than any conversation could.

Where I'm At

At school.
emotional drained.
huge transition period.

BUT as I was looking for words of encouragment yesterday I fell upon a conversation with my opa (grandfather). He told me that when he was my age he was leaving all of his family in germany and heading over to America not knowing anybody besides Oma.

And then I thought to myself.... if Opa could do that, I can do this!

Moment of the Week

Saying goodbye to my little girl 2.5 year old Alexis (whom I have nannyed for all summer and now owns a small piece of my heart) As I was laying her down to bed she began bawling and saying...


"Heidi don't leave me. I love you. Don't go back to school."

How in the world are you supposed to responde to that love and those words?
we are quite the couple!

Give and Take Away

God has taught me that during times in life there is always the concept of give and take away. He provides us with blessings but sometimes he asks us to give up those blessings for a short while in order to have a greater blessing in the end. It works the opposite way too, God allows hardships to happen but then thankfully he comes down and rescues us and takes them away. And for now I'm trying to learn how to hold onto some things with a loose grasp and trust Him. For whether God is giving or taking away, His plan is best, and so I choose to remain and follow Him.

I've also learned this summer that life isn't neccesarily about what blessings or hardships I have or am going through at the time. But more about finding joy in each day. The phrase "joy in the journey" stands out to me. No more anxiety about tomorow, or regret about yesterday. Each day is filled with simple pleasures that we must take advantage of now. I don't think that most people lead there lives with a full understanding of this topic. They are quick to begin thinking about anything other than where they are right now. So when I become overwhelmed and am taking out of the moment in which I am living, I simply slow down, take a deep breathe and say to myself, "here I am sitting right now in the kitchen. The rest of the house is asleep, but I get to enjoy the quietness of the morning. The cool morning air in the house brisks my cheeks and wakes me up. The sun is beaming outside and the sky is blue. I am happy and grateful to have woken up with the dawn today. I am happy to be within the warmth of my house. I am glad to be right here right now."

And now let us close in the words of Mother Teresa.

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."

If I were to write a letter to my former self at the begining of freshman year of college knowing what I know now:

Dearest Heidi Anne,

Congrats on getting accepted into college and choosing a school! You are about to embark on a grand adventure. I know this past year has been difficult for you but you remained so strong and have been seeing everything through to the end. I am proud. Just a few words of advice as you begin this brand new journey:

1. be confident in who you are. don't try to hide the special random pieces about you that make you, you. eventually you will find friends to embrace those and play with those, and don't settle for anything less. but sure of yourself. in college many other people will seem like they have it all together; but they really don't. they will seem like they have many strenghts and know exactly where they are going; but life happens to everyone, they are still struggling and may actually be worse off then you. embrace them for their strenghts but at the same time remember that if you begin to doubt yourself they are probably just bluffing everything, so don't take any of it to heart. you know your gifts and your talents. don't ever doubt your self for one second. you are an amazing woman and an amazing friend!

2. you don't need to make a hundred friends right away. continue to meet new people and make aquaitiances at your own pace, but be slow to truely give someone the title of friend. let me show themselves to be worth while, steadfast, and the kind of people that you want to surrond you in life. people who love you for you and love to play with you. you don't need lots of friends. wait until the really really good ones come around. don't put yourself in a box of who you hang out with, but proporitionate your time wisely so you get to spend little amounts of time with lots of people.

3. you're mom is going to be okay on her own. i promise!

4. your major will come to you. don't for one second spend hours of energy being anxious about it. i promise. it will find you in a mysterious way and you will love it! so don't worry about it and about your "college track plan." everything is going to be okay in that general area.

5. roomates are crazy. buy nikita a new alarm clock as a hello new roomate gift. set up your boundries with these girls, clean your stuff, and give them there space. don't ask them for advice. respect them but stand up for yourself!

6. always remember that you are loved.

7. be confident in your study habits. you will get great grades! don't doubt your intelligence one bit. don't ever let a single person make a comment that puts you down.

8. don't worry about your finances. you'll make it through the year living a comfortable lifestyle, fun vacations, and still have money left over.

9. find joy, take time for yourself, walk around campus with your ipod, walk around in near by neighborhoods, find a quiet space, go to the beach more often, workout at the health club. do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself and create your own space. there is joy in the journey of each and every day. make time and pamper yourself once in a while.

10. don't walk into college thinking that this is "going to be the promise land" or the time of your life. just because you are away from home and have a chance to start things completley over again doesn't mean that all of life's problems magically dissapear. Try new things and be open, sure! But at the same time, guard your heart a little more and be aware that no perfect promise land exists. prepare yourself for battles!

you'll do great and come out so much more mature!
love you!

Today I feel like:

That's what spending the entire day (8am-midnight, wake up time to nighty night time) can do to a person. Salute to all the mother's out there. All I know is that as a nineteen year old girl, an entire day of being a mom makes you feel exhausted and very bossy!