La Dolce Vita

If I were to write a letter to my former self at the begining of freshman year of college knowing what I know now:

Dearest Heidi Anne,

Congrats on getting accepted into college and choosing a school! You are about to embark on a grand adventure. I know this past year has been difficult for you but you remained so strong and have been seeing everything through to the end. I am proud. Just a few words of advice as you begin this brand new journey:

1. be confident in who you are. don't try to hide the special random pieces about you that make you, you. eventually you will find friends to embrace those and play with those, and don't settle for anything less. but sure of yourself. in college many other people will seem like they have it all together; but they really don't. they will seem like they have many strenghts and know exactly where they are going; but life happens to everyone, they are still struggling and may actually be worse off then you. embrace them for their strenghts but at the same time remember that if you begin to doubt yourself they are probably just bluffing everything, so don't take any of it to heart. you know your gifts and your talents. don't ever doubt your self for one second. you are an amazing woman and an amazing friend!

2. you don't need to make a hundred friends right away. continue to meet new people and make aquaitiances at your own pace, but be slow to truely give someone the title of friend. let me show themselves to be worth while, steadfast, and the kind of people that you want to surrond you in life. people who love you for you and love to play with you. you don't need lots of friends. wait until the really really good ones come around. don't put yourself in a box of who you hang out with, but proporitionate your time wisely so you get to spend little amounts of time with lots of people.

3. you're mom is going to be okay on her own. i promise!

4. your major will come to you. don't for one second spend hours of energy being anxious about it. i promise. it will find you in a mysterious way and you will love it! so don't worry about it and about your "college track plan." everything is going to be okay in that general area.

5. roomates are crazy. buy nikita a new alarm clock as a hello new roomate gift. set up your boundries with these girls, clean your stuff, and give them there space. don't ask them for advice. respect them but stand up for yourself!

6. always remember that you are loved.

7. be confident in your study habits. you will get great grades! don't doubt your intelligence one bit. don't ever let a single person make a comment that puts you down.

8. don't worry about your finances. you'll make it through the year living a comfortable lifestyle, fun vacations, and still have money left over.

9. find joy, take time for yourself, walk around campus with your ipod, walk around in near by neighborhoods, find a quiet space, go to the beach more often, workout at the health club. do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself and create your own space. there is joy in the journey of each and every day. make time and pamper yourself once in a while.

10. don't walk into college thinking that this is "going to be the promise land" or the time of your life. just because you are away from home and have a chance to start things completley over again doesn't mean that all of life's problems magically dissapear. Try new things and be open, sure! But at the same time, guard your heart a little more and be aware that no perfect promise land exists. prepare yourself for battles!

you'll do great and come out so much more mature!
love you!