Bar Advice , to bring a smile

Nothing can beat feeling sad over a guy,
calling your sister (who is at a bar with her friends),
and having the phone be passed around with different pieces of slightly drunken advice:

1. guy one: well, let's just look at the positives... you are emily's sister and if you look anything like her you have that going for you. your not in the plus sizes, thats great. all guys in college are worthless until they hit senior year. till then they are just imature and not worth your time. so what you need to do is just hit a bar and rebound

2. her roomate: you just wait one day heidi, you are going to meet some hott ass doctor who is going to be rich and a great guy. i mean think, your going to be married your whole life. guys are retards, esp. guys in college. you're going to meet someone so much better and he's going to be lucky.

3. guy two: hey, how you doing. let's just look at the facts. there are hundreds of other guys in the world. thousands. hell, you could go international and then there would be billions. i mean, india's got some smart ones. or in china they abort a lot of the girl babies, so you already have that going for you. no, i know it sounds funny, but its true.

4. guy three (or maybe it was guy one again): here, my dad always told me this, and you can just take it and put it in girl terms: girls are like buses, a new one comes every hour on the hour. and then he said but never call a girl a bus to her face. so just tell this guy that he's an idtiot and is missing out big time. sucks for him.

5. sister (the best!): heidi, i love you, it'll be okay. other friends will come along, you'll always be loved. it'll be okay. are you laughing now? see all my friends want to talk to you! they all love you and they don't even know you!

disclaimer: i personally do not agree with any of the rebound, racist, abortion, and such comments listed above